Added: Maren Kron - Date: 04.01.2022 01:41 - Views: 20583 - Clicks: 4476
Articles that promise the fastest, easiest, lowest-barrier-to-entry bullshit tips on how men can improve themselves. Since when are we all after the quick and easy silver bullet? I was on a coaching call the other week with a man who asked me this very valid question. Before we dive into how to become more attractive, it bears a moment of reflection to ask ourselves if we even believe that altering our attractiveness is even possible. They have experienced a healthy amount of pain and anguish around having not felt like a sexually viable partner to people who they wanted in the past, or.
If the former is the case, this is totally understandable. One lever produced a small edible treat, the other two levers were neutral and produced no result. In this instance, the dog would essentially play forever and keep getting treats which is essentially what a human playing a slot machine is like. But when one of the two neutral levers was switched so that it became a punishment a small electric shockthe scientists found that the dog would simply stop playing the game altogether, lie down on the ground, and become despondent.
I have compassion for this. Your ego wants you to maintain the status quo at all costs, and your higher mind is challenging you to step forwards and risk getting hurt again. Ultimately, this is difficult but necessary work.
But why? Similar to the despondent dog analogy, this question is being asked from a place of avoiding pain in life. And action requires effort. And effort is hard. Everything in your life, in left unattended, will decay into a state of disorder, chaos, and ruin. What do you think about that!?
You are afraid to take up space… to put in the work… to be your biggest, baddest, boldest self. Because once you define goals, you can fail at them. When you define conditions for success, you can not achieve those and feel like a failure. So better to just sit back and do fuck all with your life, right? As always, the choice is yours alone. Attractive man available for anything you need no one is coming to save you and do the work for you. To continue with the business analogy, there are very few products on the market that appeal to absolutely everyone.
Putting effort into your physical fitness is less about looking jacked and having six pack abs than it is about what it says about your relationship to yourself overall. If you put energy into how your body functions and operates, then any potential romantic partner that might be sussing you out can accurately trust that you are a man who is willing to take care of himself and attend to his own needs. Without health, nothing else matters.
The positive changes that I have experienced in my mind, my sleep, and my sex drive are massively apparent. Trail running, dance classes, yoga, cycling, whatever. Simply pick up any physically active hobby that you love doing, and do it. Put work into improving your physical fitness, not from a place of getting swole, but from a place of self-honouring and self-love.
Your sense of groundedness, mental and emotional health, and sex life will all improve exponentially if you truly make your body a priority. It means putting in the work to slow down your thinking, and taking responsibility for your thoughts. Someone who is unwilling to take responsibility for their minds and their lives is perpetually placing themselves in the role of the victim. The man who has jealous thoughts about his partner cheating on him, so he tells her that she has to change her life to cater to his insecurities. Or the woman who views all women as competitive and catty so she avoids having any female friends because guys are just easier to get along with.
All three of these examples are of people who are unwilling to face and own a certain part of their own minds insecurity, competitiveness, and anger respectively and so they aim to bend the world to their reality instead of doing their work and reclaiming these disowned shadow elements. So what have you disowned in yourself? What have you made wrong, or scary, or unloveable in your own mind?
Acknowledge the disowned shadow element, have a dialogue with it, and then integrate it. So, for the example of the man who is afraid of the anger of others because his father used to be angry, this man would need to first face his own capacity for anger. He would have to acknowledge that, given the right circumstance, he has the exact same capacity for anger that his father did.
And then he would need to enact his anger in mindful, healing ways in order to make friends with that part of himself. Good diet, drinking lots of water, prioritizing quality sleep, cultivating and honouring your personal boundaries, and investing in your social circle… the fundamentals are fundamental for a reason. Eat food at consistent times. Have at least half of your meal be colourful, varied vegetables. Drink litres of water per day. Find this tip hard to implement? Buy a BPA free water bottle that you like, and fill it up every morning and afternoon.
As much as the cult of productivity would have you believe otherwise, our bodies and minds need sleep. Do whatever you can to get to bed at a consistent time preferably before 10pm every night, in a cool temperature, dark room. If your mind is racing, write down your thoughts in a journal. If you for some reason have to look at screens within two hours before going to bed, wear blue light blocking sunglasses to protect your circadian rhythms.
You must be willing to face the disapproval or disappointment of others in order to do what is right for you in your life. A lack of friends in your life is as bad for you as smoking a pack of cigarettes per day so says a study that recently came out of Harvard University. Not sure where to start? Get a quality haircut that fits your face shape. Wash well. Be meticulous about your oral hygiene.
Deep dive on your self-cleaning once per week. If you feel so inclined, pick a ature scent that you enjoy wearing. Small hinges swing big doors. An attractive man is a man who knows himself. He knows what needs he needs to get met throughout the various compartments of his life, and he makes his needs a consistent priority. He can be flexible in many areas of his life, but he is not in the habit of abandoning himself or ignoring his needs long-term.
It comes from having experiences, and from observing yourself. So if you are having a hard time figuring out what it is you want out of life hobbies, friends, partners, etc. Do more things. And reflect more through meditation, self-observation, journalling, etc. One without the other quickly becomes draining. A cynic would say that this is because the women Attractive man available for anything you need he is trying to attract wants him to have a good earning potential. And this may be part of the case a man who can meet the financial needs of his lifestyle is certainly desirable.
But I would argue that the majority of women would prefer to be partnered with a happy man than a rich man when one is in exclusion to the other. And a man who is fully engaged in living his passion is, more often than not, a contented man. Write out s of words for each of these things. Once complete, look for the major patterns throughout what you wrote. I believe that it takes the ultimate courage to truly commit to what you are meant to do in the world. Committing, in itself, is only one part of the journey. You will be tested. You will have to recommit, over and over to your path.
Whatever you are meant to do in this world, do it. If you do, you will be able to die empty… gifts given. If you resist the calling of this path, the parts of yourself that you repress will wreak havoc on your body, mind, and emotions. You will be more prone to addictions, mental disturbances, and engaging in things that help you numb you out to your general state of malaise.
As an added benefit to deciding to living out your passion, you, by default, will end up perpetually growing more and contributing more. Live your passion. You are going to die anyways. Whether you die tomorrow, or in 80 years is entirely beyond your control.
So you might as well fill your time with something meaningful that lights your heart on fire. If you are fortunate enough to be able to read these words have access to the internet, have enough time on your hands to read articles on the internet, etc. You have big shoes to fill, and it is your responsibility alone to fill them.
Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive. For the long-term lone wolf, points 10 and 11 will likely be more valuable to you than this one and you can go ahead and skip this point.
Some men are already self-sufficient enough and need to lean into the gifts of friendship and community. Confidence is attractive. Confidence comes from. And come from skill acquisition. If you find yourself feeling overly reliant on others for every little thing, then cultivating some self-sufficiency might be just what the doctor ordered. Know how to wipe your own ass, literally and metaphorically speaking. What you do with your resources matters.
If you get a small scuff on your shoes and immediately throw them out, how can your partner a trust you to handle your money wellor b not dispose of her with the same ease when a small speed bump inevitably happens in your relationship? Take good care of your things. Be mindful of where your money goes on a monthly basis. Have a savings plan so that your money makes you more money which is the real way that the rich get richer.
Attractive man available for anything you need your resources and they will respect you back. Many of the points in this list are all dancing around this subject, so I better name it explicitly. Unattractive men are dependent, fear-ridden boys who blame others and shirk responsibility every time the wind changes direction. An attractive man is someone who takes ultimate responsibility for everything in his life. He commits to full ownership.
But an attractive man is willing to accept everything as it is fully, and then is willing to engage in changing it if he so chooses. My wife wants more quality time with me? Alright, I will put energy into making that happen. Distraction free date nights every week. I will budget my lifestyle accordingly, cut necessary corners, and create a plan to start earning more. I have fallen into the worst physical shape of my life? Time to start eating better, sleeping on a regular schedule, and going to the gym four days a week.
Blame is the opposite of responsibility. Blame is making others responsible. And this very quickly le to drowning in a state of victim consciousness. Ultimately, being a holistically attractive man comes down to living a life of totality. When you need to cry, you feel the sense of deserving and permission to bawl your eyes out. So just as important as responsibility, ownership, and resourcefulness are, so is play, lightness, and fun.Attractive man available for anything you need
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19 science-backed ways men can appear more attractive to women